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aksharamana malai verse 50

31/10/2020

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dhairiyamodumun mayyaga naada yaan
Thattazhindhen arum Arunachala

Meaning


Arunachala! Impelled by the strong desire of the ego, I tried to know your natural form in my heart, since I wasn’t worthy of it (or qualified), I lost my strength and discerning power (arivum aatralum says TRK, arivu is brains/thinking/discriminatory power, aatral is strength). Please eliminate my anxiety.


Explanation


Dhairiyam is bravery, born of ego and its strength. Ego consciousness is helpful in knowing what is outside of it not what is its natural state. For that divine grace is essential.


Just the way a ship caught in a storm in the middle of the sea is tossed and turned at teh mercy of the fury of the elements, I am caught in the midst of  the hurricane of samsara and lost my sense of  balance and equanimity/stability.

Another meaning:
When I approached you by your grace to find your real form, you destroyed the ego it was hiding behind. When I tried to attain you through the efforts of the ego (jiva bodha munaippu), my strength and intelligence were uprooted and destroyed.How strange is the difference between grace-impelled action and ego-propelled effort?
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aksharamana malai verse 49

30/10/2020

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thaedathuttra narthiruvaru Nidhiyagam
Thiyakkam thhertharuL Arunachala


Meaning

Arunachala! You who are the greatest and most precious wealth I obtained without making any effort! My mind is deluded by not recognising your true wealth of gnana swarupa (wisdom form), please remove that delusion and help me obtain that Atma wealth (Atma dhanam where dhanam is wealth).


Explanation

Though Bhagavan neither made the slightest effort to qualify for Arunachala’s grace nor had the least desire for self realisation yet Lord blessed him with Atma sakshatkara of his own volition. This is what Bhagavan calls as ‘thedadhuttra thiru aruL nidhi’ meaning wealth that came without searching for it (aruL is grace and nidhi is wealth). This is defined as god’s grace/compassion or grace that’s bestowed with no reason (avyaja karunai).


Even though I obtained your grace (aruL nidhi), my mind is deluded as I have not obtained wealth of knowledge/wisdom (gnana chelvam). Please remove this poverty and help me enjoy your Atma dhanam says Bhagavan. Since Arunachala’s grace has the power to remove the sorrows of samsara (birth and death cycle), it is called ‘nal thiru aruL’ where thiru is a title of respect alluding to the divine aspect (like how annamalai is called thiruannamalai). 

​Here Bhagavan does not say ‘nidhi pathi’ (holder/owner of wealth) but just says ‘nidhi’ as the lord is not different from nidhi (wealth of knowledge/wisdom/atma swaroopam).
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aksharamana malai verse 48

28/10/2020

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dheivam endrunnaich charave ennai
Saera ozhiththai Arunachala

Meaning
Arunachala! Thinking of you constantly  I came to you and surrendered, considering you as my protector god (rakshaka dheivam),  and you destroyed my body-ego-consciousness and vasanas at one fell swoop!
Explanation
When I came to you thinking of you as god who will make me prosper, you destroyed ‘Me’ instead taking me as sacrifice (Bali says TRK which is sacrifice as in sacrificial lamb context). All that I thought were my possessions such as my body and mind you took and destroyed completely. (Usually one goes to god to live well which almost always means body-mind related health and wealth, but instead of giving that Bhagavan says Arunachala destroyed both which are what is considered ‘me’).
Here, the efforts of reaching Arunachala have been rewarded instantly. God has done what he is supposed to do which is complete destruction of body-mind consciousness. This great help is only due to the boundless grace of Arunachala.
Even if we worship Arunachala in dwiata bhava (considering him as separate from us) he still destroys our ego  by his grace and makes us one with him is the meaning of this verse.
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aksharamana malai verse 47

28/10/2020

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thooi mana mozhiyar thoyumun meyyagam
Thoyavae aruL en Arunachala


Meaning 
My Lord Arunachala! Like the devotees whose mind and word (Mano vaaku) are refined (and ripened) to a lofty state by their purity, who are steeped in that blissful state where there is One (where they have lost their duality and become one with you), may I also enjoy that bliss by your grace Arunachala!
​

Explanation
Those who keep their mind, word and body pure are called ’tirikarana suththar’. Here Bhagavan only mentions mind and word (Mano vaakku). Because for the devotees whose purified mind is immersed in meditative state like ‘thaila dhaarai’ (uninterrupted flow of oil) , purity of body is not regarded as important.
Another meaning if we split it as ‘thooi manam ozhiyar’ is: the nature of mind is sattva. But the scattered, distracted nature covers it with tamas and raja gunas later (Sattva is pure, rajas is active/action, tamas is darkness/destruction). Efforts carried out by the grace of god result in the destruction of all the three gunas, including the stave, so what remains is pure Self (Atman swarm-am).

The state of bliss thus obtained is what Bhagavan is praying for in this verse to Arunachala.

Note: TRK says aavarana viskshepa, which roughly translates to cover/garment, and scattered, distraction, respectively.
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aksharamana malai 46

26/10/2020

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thupparivilla ippirappen payan
Oppida vaayaen Arunachala

Meaning

Arunachala! What is the use of this life (birth) which does not engage itself in self enquiry to understand the subtlest of the truths? And what is the use of the mouth that cannot compare this useless life with something equivalent?

Explanation
What is the use of this mouth that tries to compare this useless life with that of other lives (jivas)? What to compare this life with when there is no experience of gnana?

Thupparivu is detective work done secretly. Here it means a jiva subjugating all the thoughts by following them (like a detective)  to the source where they end, namely the ‘I’ thought and discovering its true form (by going back the way it came).
Even a lowly dog finds its owner by his scent. I don’t even that ability (to find you), what then is the use of this life, asks Bhagavan.

Another meaning: Since I don’t have the necessary skills of following the clues (thuppu = clue), I could not reach you. Why don’t you bless me with your grace so I can surrender to you completely?

Note: thuppu means clue, thupparivu is the ability/knowledge to follow the clues to find something. Among its other common meanings, it means to spit. Vaayaen means why this mouth. It also can be taken as ‘why won’t you come?’ where the root word is vaa meaning to come.
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aksharamana malai 45

25/10/2020

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theeramil agathil thedi undhanai yaan
Thirumbavutraen arum Arunachala


Meaning
Arunachala! I lost you in the endless space-consciousness (chit akasam) of heart but with your grace I found (attained) you again.

Explanation

Theeram means shore (it also means bravery in a different context) or bank (nadhi theeram = river bank). Endless heart refers not to the physical organ but to the chitakasam. Since god resides as the heart in the heart, one should search for him to attain him (at the same time one does not either find or lose Arunachala who lives in the heart).

Due to timeless vasanas (tendencies carried over from previous lives) and the consequent illusions and delusions, and the ever-outward-bound mind’s nature, it feels like it has been found again. And it finally reaches Arunachala with his grace. 
Another meaning is: I attempted to find you in my heart when you are present everywhere, but I lacked the courage and strength needed for that pursuit so I gave up. Still, in the endless omnipresence of the heart’s expanse, my striving did not go to waste as I reached you by your grace.
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aksharamana malai 44

24/10/2020

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Thirumbi agamthanai dhinam agak kaNN kaaNN
Theriyum endranti en Arunachala


Meaning
Arunachala! When I prayed to you to show me your real form, you graced me with the instruction to turn inwards and look inside with determination (vairagya) constantly. How strange is that? Because when the ‘I’ remains as One, what can it know outside of it? What is the secret of your upadesa (instruction)?

Explanation
Ego stands in the way of self realisation (atma saatshatkaram).  Self enquiry is the only way to destroy the ego and achieve one’s real state/form. A sadhaka (spiritual practioner) has to constantly, every day, do self enquiry till the darkness of ignorance created by the ego is wiped out and the Self shines. This is what he means by ‘dhinam agak Kann kaNN, literally, daily inwards eye see = look inward every single day).
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aksharamana malai 43

23/10/2020

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Thaane thaane thattuvam idhanai
thaane kaatuvai Arunachala
​

Meaning
The ‘I’ that shines as I am is the meaning of (all) philosophy (thattuvam means philosophy). Since you are that I Arunachala, show me your resplendent form.

Explanation
‘I’ is the form of wisdom (gnana swarupam). In all the changing states such as sleep, dream and waking state, this I shines through constantly as witness of jiva. Since Arunachala remains as ‘I’ in the heart of all beings, Bhagavan says ‘thaane thaane’ (I-I). 

Thaane kaatuvai (you yourself show me) = since the jiva (soul) loses its light on merging with the Self, it shines as the effulgent self.

‘I’ is the attributed self and I am is the place of Brahman. Remaining as yourself is the bliss of the self (brahma anubhavam). Bhagavan as asking not to slip into the jiva bhavam (ordinary state of jiva) and remain as the Self (as Arunachala).

Note: In Tamil, I and I am both are conveyed by ‘naan’. Eg: I am here = naan Inge irukkiren, I came here = Naan ingot vandhen. ’Thaan’ usually refers to the ego state. 
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aksharamana malai 42

22/10/2020

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Thatthuvam theriyaadh athanai utraai
Thatthuvam idhuvenn Arunachala


Meaning
Arunachala! Without knowing the truth that ‘You are that’ you helped me attain that state. Shower me with your grace so as to confirm that this is the state I have attained.

Explanation
Bhagavan attained the state of liberation (tat vam asi = you are that, a non dual state where no differences exist), without the traditional guru-sishya (master-disciple) relationship or upadesa on the eternal truth. Bhagavan knew Brahman by the grace of Arunachala at his young age when he did not know either the word Brahman or its meaning.
Console me by confirming that the state bestowed on me is what a disciple achieves after proper initiation and practice, says Bhagavan. Bhagavan appeared on the earth to help jivas attain moksha but he never had any formal initiation in the Maha vaakya, ‘ you are that’.  Bhagavan is asking Arunachala shining as Atman swaroopam (self manifested) to confirm the self-realisation experience he had as a young boy.
Note: There are four Mahavakyas, or great statements in the Upanishads, which have a profound significance as pointers to Reality. They are: (1) Prajnanam Brahma – Consciousness is Brahman; (2) Aham Brahmasmi – I am Brahman: (3) Tat Tvam Asi – That Thou Art; (4) Ayam Atma Brahma – This Self is Brahman. 
(From https://www.swami-krishnananda.org/panch/panch_05.html)
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aksharamana malai 41

21/10/2020

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Gnimiru pol neeyum malarndhilai yendrae
Naer nindranai en Arunachala
Meaning
Arunachala the effulgent sun! You are standing like a bee in front of me as if to mock me for not having blossomed (ripened). How strange is that? Does it behove you?

Explanation
If the lotus doesn’t blossom fully the bee cannot enter and drink the honey. If the bee stands outside and asks the flower ‘why haven’t you blossomed and opened your petals yet?’ how does that make sense? If the sun which is responsible for the blossoming of the lotus by his very presence asks the flower why you haven’t blossomed, it’s matter of ridicule. Honourable Arunachala, do not pay any attention to my state of ripeness, your sight alone will make me ripe and ready. In the presence of Siva a jiva becomes ripe, and in the present of a guru, a disciple becomes ripe effortlessly is the meaning of this verse.
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    This is my attempt at translating T.R.Kanakammal's Nool Thirattu in English for those devotees who don't understand Tamil. Hope it helps you. Ramana Saranam! Periyava Saranam!

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