En pizhapozhithadhu Arunachala
Arunachala, I was living my ordinary life like the rest of the people, you threw sand in the mouth of my survival, ruined my ordinary life, who else can do this except you?
(Pizhaippu is survival/day to day life of mere mortals. Pizhaippil maNn podudhal is to throw sand into survival, meaning ruin one’s life/survival).
Bhagavan describes the act of Arunachala that destroyed his attachments to material world, body-identification and doer-ship as ‘putting sand in one’s survival’. What is called survival or what passes for life is the vasanas from time immemorial holding onto a body as ‘I’.
The ego’s false feeling of ‘I’ that is devoid of spiritual attainment/wisdom (paramaartha gnanam) was destroyed by inquiry into the Self and looking inward. This led to the death of ‘I am the body’ identification while still alive, which Bhagavan refers to as ruining my life (en pizhappu ozhithadhu).
Who else but Arunachala can carry out such an act, wonders Bhagavan who humorously ‘complains’ about the grace of Arunachala which made Bhagavan turn inward and lose interest in worldly matters, destroy his ignorance through atma-gnana (wisdom from self realisation) and thus enjoy the bliss of self realisation.